Thank God it's OVER

Yes, it's taken me a while to get back on here and blog since my "experience" last Friday. Let me preface this by saying that everything is okay.  I will meet with the doc soon about some biopsies, but it's all good and "normal".

What is not NORMAL is the whole process!  Good Lord! I think it took me so long to post because I was speechless. Quite frankly, that was the most horrible  6 hours ever!  People told me "oh, the prep is bad, but it's fine.  You'll forget about it".  uhhhhh.....noooooo I won't.  Ever. Ever. I cannot believe how terrible that prep drink is. Seriously.  I thought it would help by adding a packet of crystal light lemonade.  I. will.never.drink.crystal.light.lemonade.again. Ever.  It made it worse.  Horrible.  Have I said it was bad?  I refrigerated it and drank  it through a straw.  Did not help. Directions were to drink 8 oz every 15 minutes until the bottle was done, then wait a half hour and to drink another bottle...8 oz every 15 minutes.  Each bottle held 32 oz. If I followed their directions, I should have been done by 8pm.  Let me just say, that after 45 minutes, I had to sit on the toilet and try to finish this crap and crap.  It was horrible!  sitting and drinking.  Finally, finished the first bottle.  Get the next bottle, no crystal light, but I stared at this bottle for a while.  Sweating, swearing, staring...staring more.  NOT drinking, or sipping.  Road block. Paul following me around the house.."chug it already".  I thought I might punch him in the throat.  I can't wait till he has to do this. (by that time, I will have to do it again...) Thought I was going to die.  Starting messaging a friend that has done this several times, (I have named her CoCo, colon coach), telling her "I can't do this", "why is this so terrible", "why the HELL can't they make this taste better"???  She kept on me but I did not finish the drink until 9pm and about 8 oz short, but seriously, I was cleared out!...an hour behind (no pun intended).  The fun did not end there...it "went" until after midnight.  yup and then slept on and off (hehe..pun) until morning...on TOP of the covers...on the EDGE of the bed. Literally drank and sat..no one told me it would be THAT bad!  Ask me..I will be honest.  

My dad took me to the hospital Friday morning, dropped me then more waiting on the bed with a gown.  I remember telling the anesthesiologist "make sure I am TOTALLY out, I am very anxious"..next, I woke up looking at a male nurse who gave me ice chips.  I love him.  THE best ice chips I have ever had.

Day of Cleansing....or HELL (however you want to look at it)

I am going to add to this post today as the day progresses.

I am on my 3rd clear liquid and I just had ONE jello for breakfast.  I think I am going to die.  JELLO??  When do you eat jello?  When you're sick?  I NEVER eat jello...it needs cool whip and a graham cracker crust to be desirable to me.  

Just tried green Powerade...Good God...terrible.  Cleaning house to keep busy. Wishing I had a freaking job so I wouldn't be totally consumed with food.  I think I may feel faint...no...just don't want to clean :-/

Okay...so mixing the "MoviPrep" so that I can refrigerate it.  Supposedly, it goes down better when cold?  Friends have told me to chase it with Sprite...I choose Vodka...it's a clear liquid people!!  Just saying


Alrighty then...just tried some Chicken broth...NO.  Terrible.  Chicken broth should have potatoes , noodles, actual CHICKEN, and carrots maybe. Threw that into the sink.  Having another jello.  Gotta go get more crystal meth...I mean, light!!!  hahahaha!  lighten up people!  I am getting punchy and maybe just a tad...grumpy.  yup, I am irritated and I haven't started THE DRINK yet.  Gonna get rough in 4 hours....


5pm~ Let the games begin!  Oh GAWDDDDDDD!  It tastes like shit.

Seriously?  2013..put a robot on MARS but they can't make this crap taste like a Mai Tai?

I probably won't be blogging for a while...here goes

Ok....Here goes

So, here's the thing.  People (friends and maybe not my friends) have said that I have funny stories.  Maybe they are everyday "happenings" and I describe them with humor?  Not sure.  There are times when I know I could have my own reality show.  If I had a camera rolling, even living in retirement town, it would be a show.  Between my teenage daughter and her life, my friends, my family and inlaws, there are stories.  My daughter dances...'nuff said! People have suggested that I start a blog.  Writing about my everyday (what seems funny but dull nonetheless to me) stories, instances, and situations.

I am finally starting this week.  I will have to "foof" the blog site as I have time.  BUT, the reason I am starting this week is because I am having a colonosopy and endoscopy on Friday.  My mom had colon cancer about 10 years ago and since I have also had cancer, my doctor suggested (3 years ago, ahem)that I have a colonosopy.  Needless to say, I have put it off.  Good God!  I was waiting for our medical community to come up with a scan of some sort to look into the depths of my colon without this prep and horrible scope being stuck up my ass!  Seriously!  It is 2013!  WTH? But, no luck.  I have some weird stomach thing they would like to look at too, so on Friday I get a camera up my ass and another down my throat!  Good Times! I have sooooo many thoughts on this procedure, that I thought I should start my commentary now!

**side note*** if something negative comes up on either of these tests, I will be pissed

MoviPrep?  Who named this product?  That's what I will be drinking tomorrow evening starting at 5pm.  I will, for sure, be updating during my rests in the bathroom.  

My instructions today state to drink 8 glasses of water.  Not too bad.  Nothing red or orange...I won't elaborate as to WHY that would be.  No nuts, seeds, or popcorn.  Which is a huge bummer because I am going to the movies today...will eat chocolate instead you mother Fer's.  No solid foods after midnight tonight.  Guess what?  Tonight will be a LATE night!  cheese, crackers, chocolate, and probably anything I can get my hands on, will be consumed at 11:45pm.

I will update tomorrow....since you are reading this, you are along for the ride :)